misunderstood.

No one tries to understand. Not when they don't know you well enough to ask, or be concerned at all. You make choices, you choose what comes first to you. If it's a bad day, what you thought was more important might end up disappointing you and everyone else will hate you for choosing something else over them.

Thing is, you say no, and nobody asks 'what's wrong?'.. 'can i help to make that a yes?'. They won't say 'it's okay as long as you make up for it.' They won't say 'I understand.' You say no and people will assume that you don't care enough to say yes, not knowing the effort you already put in. People will judge you for being selfish, without giving you the benefit of the doubt. People might not even give you the same privilege they gave others. People will simply judge, make assumptions about you that are likely untrue and write you off.

You say how you feel and end up feeling bad for it, instead of being relieved of pent-up feelings.
Lose-lose situation. Either way I do it, it's wrong.

Feelings in a whirlpool and I don't know what to think.


Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this; Your promise preserves my life.