I, today. Perplexed.

For some time, blogger seemed to deny my browser access and that is why I have been away for so long. I tried again today and poof, it's back. Poof.

Today is apparently the 9th day of Chinese New Year, it is also just another day I spent going through the motions. Wake up, do what you're supposed to do everyday, do what you're obligated to do that day, want to do something you actually want, don't get to do that thing, reflect on the day that has passed in a flicker. Like I said, motions.

I've learned long ago that life is not about getting to do what I want. Far from it. It's about what God wants us to do. I've also learned that most of the time, I won't know if what I am doing is what God wants even if it's in my intentions to do so. A balancing act, between hearing God's voice and my own. I was never good at balancing.

It's callous. This post I'm typing, because I have little idea of what I am getting at. Perhaps just that I get confused sometimes, and I want to be forgiven. Again, life is not about getting what I -finish the sentence-.

But if this blog is about recording the highlights of my day, the pinnacle was hearing that pa managed to move his foot the slightest bit on command. Thank you, Jesus. And if this blog is also about recording the moments of my day when I feel like crap, the award goes to being a punching bag. Perplexed as I am, I am still grateful for another waking day.